Drinking for the Right Reasons

I kind of had another emotional avalanche today when I called my mom and had to ask for money to pay the dentist. Since all of this started, and since paying back the government and not getting the job, I’ve realized that the next few months or so are going to be a little bit more than difficult.

When Jon got home I explained the whole situation again. He told me that maybe I should ask for more shifts, and I told him that the last time I did that, I was told to apply for the coordinator job. Well, I did that. And I didn’t get the job. Hence, breakdown.

I wanted a drink, but instead I actually got off my ass and started the barbeque without help or problem. And it actually helped a lot, seeing that since I left the propane tank on for a whole night the last time I tried to “barbeque” and swore that I would never use it again, I actually proved myself wrong.

When Jon joined me outside to put the burgers on the grill, he put his arms around me and said that everything was going to be fine. I knew that, but I hated the thought of having to go through the months leading up that eventual end. Sure, I still feel shitty walking into work every time I actually get to go there, but I feel heaps better having just gone through today without a real breakdown.

Right now, I’m drinking a cranberry vodka cocktail and listening to some very mellow Emily Haines, but it’s really for good reasons.

Okay, I lied. I’m listening to Peaches.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 5th, 2009 at 10:37 pm and is filed under Jargon. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.